Category Archives: Passion

What He Has Taught Me Through Our Journey

It is amazing to me that it is coming up on a year from the day that I received a phone call about Chance’s health! As I think back over the many months of diagnostics, research, hyper vigilance, wishes, decisions, stressors, and connection- I am truly amazed.

I am amazed at Chance’s strength.  He never gave up; he kept on fighting.  No matter how sore, tired, or sick Chance was there was ONE thing that remained- his gentle and determined soul.  He never seemed deterred by the obstacles in front of him whether the obstacle was a hill, walking a straight line, or walking in general; he just kept trying each and every day.  He showed kindness to the numerous vets who poked and prodded him; never once trying to bite or kick at them. Chance did not give up throughout this tiresome and seemingly, never ending journey.  He persevered.  We persevered.

Every single day I am grateful that I have been able to spend this time by Chance’s side; to reconnect and go through this journey together.  We have made up for the time lost while he was in Forest, VA. If today was Chance’s last day, I can honestly say that I would be at peace.  I wouldn’t have been able to say this a year ago.

Over the last year, while the journey was overwhelming, sad, tiresome, and at times, heart wrenching, I was able to witness Chance become a horse.  That may sound strange, but after enduring the many years of pain medications and intermittent bouts of lameness and Lymphangitis, I saw a horse that was not able to 100% enjoy his life.

And for the first time, I have seen him doing the very opposite, I have seen him enjoying life. Life as a horse. I’ve seen him running in the pastures, laying in the sunshine, rolling in the snow. I’ve seen him make friends, eat warm bran mash, and devour his hay. I’ve heard him whinny and I’ve seen the light come back into his eyes.

For that, I am truly grateful.  I can say without a shed of a doubt, I have no regrets about the decision I made a year ago, no matter how difficult it may have been.

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Perspectives 

Throughout this journey I have come to realize (more so than I ever have before), and appreciate, that things that are worth accomplishing do not come easy. Whether it’s graduating from school, building a life the you want, holding a relationship together, getting an animal healthy again, or whatever else one holds dear.

The things we truly want, what we are willing to fight for, in the end we appreciate them more. We know how hard we fought to get to the places we are, we remember every single day- the sweat, the tears, the long nights, the headaches and heartaches, the persistence and patience it took, and that we never gave up.

Personally speaking, my life has always required extra work; it has never been smooth sailing. Whether it was passing highschool, getting accepted into college, my masters program, or even my PhD program…I was constantly hit with road blocks…learning disabilities, ADHD, good and not so good teachers, family crises, anxiety disorders, deaths of loved ones…you name it, I had to climb over it.

This most recent obstacle with Chance’s health has been no different….the fight to make something happen, feeling alone in your quest, trying to focus on the end goal even when others are telling you to give up, spending countless hours planning, researching, and grasping at any and every lead you’re able to find that will help you to get to the finish line.

Today I’m grateful that I fought for my old guy and that a year later he is happy, healthy, and enjoying a life he deserves with me right by his side.

The Guessing Game

IMG_7563The month passed by slowly….I kept hitting a brick wall over and over again…with each diagnostic test we ran.

Vet2: This was Chance’s vet for many years and where Chance lived the summer I moved home.  Vet1 was used because of connivence and due to being the vet of the owner of the farm.   I called Vet2, desperate, and she came out to see him.  Vet2 had always been amazing with Chance- kind, calm, and seems to act on intuition in conjunction with science.  She ran a CBC, tested for Cushings, Lymes, an did x-rays on the back right leg.

RESULTS:

* Metabolic Syndrome- Cornell

GLUCOSE: 10mg/dl

LIPEMIA: 8mg/dl

HEMOLYSIS: 1mg/dl

ICTERUS: 2mg/dl

*Endocrinology

ACTH endo 21.4 pg/ml

INSULIN 15.22 uIU/ml

THYROXINE T4 baseline 0.77 ug/dl

*Lyme Mitpix- Cornel

OspA Value 1253- Equivocal

OspC Value 79- Negative

OspF Value 592- Negative

Temp: 99.1, HR: 42, RR: 12, No murmur

Received Potomac Rabies and Stanozanol 4ml 7 vit B12

The X-rays of his back right showed nothing that could cause his flare-ups.  While his thyroid was a bit low, it was not clinically significant.  He was negative for Lymes and Cushings.  Next step, aside from pain management, is to call Vet3- the holistic approach.

Horse's Leg

Tendon Injury Handbook

The Call

One day I received a call that I needed to come out and see Chance because he wasn’t doing well and, according to Vet1, he needed to be put down.  I quickly canceled my appointments and got on the road.  The 4 hour drive was excruciating…once we finally arrived, my heart broke.

My old guy was skin and bones.  His back right leg was swollen and he wasn’t able to bare weight on it.  His eyes were dull.  He could barely walk, and when he did, he wouldn’t put any weight on the right hind.  There were even times when he would do this “neurologic dance” (coined by the farm’s owner and C’s other mom) where he would lift up his back right leg and hop!

But when he saw me pull up, he whinnied.  He was excited to see me.  He ate the pureed carrots but refused the apple puree (only my mom would make this for him).  He wasn’t ready to die.



I called the vet who said that Chance should be put down to see what his thoughts were.

Me:   What do you think is going on with C?

Vet1: I think he is ready to be put down. 

Me: Because of what?

Vet1: Lymphangitis

Me: Okay, well, what is the cause of the Lymphangitis? Did you run any diagnostics?

Vet1: No

Me:  I would like to manage his pain and run a few tests before making that decision.  (I reviewed the research that I had done and asked where to go from there.) Could it be EPM?

Vet1: “It’s not EPM”

Me: How about Cushings? Or Laminitis? Lymes?

Vet1: Nope. Just old age.

Me: The journals I read said that some of the symptoms…(I was cut off)

Vet1: “I don’t care what journals you read!  It’s a bunch of…”

Me: One was from VA Tech actually…



Well, that was that! Vet1 did not completely lack compassion but he was more “old school” I guess one could say.  He was well respected in the horse world and up until this point, he did the job I needed. But I will say I was disheartened by our conversation.  

I decided to contact the other vets that I had worked with in the past, who also knew Chance, and get second, third, fourth opinions.  

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From Sunset Beach to Take A Chance

I purchased Chance from a farm in Middleburg, Virginia.  I remember the first time I saw him- this big 17.1 hand, 10 year old, chestnut thoroughbred gelding.  He had these sad big brown eyes that made me instantly fall in love. I got on him and we cantered around a field together and over a handful of jumps.

We vetted him and trailered him back to the farm in Lorton, Virginia.

Immediately upon his arrival, we all noticed that this horse was scared of everything! He was a cribber. He was constantly hurting himself.  And he refused to pick up his left lead.

We began working with our trainer- mostly on our flatwork- and he loved to rear! Yay! (note sarcasm). He hated trail riding and riding in the field.  What horse dislikes being ridden in a huge green field!?  We managed to jump a bit here and there.  Every time we made progress, Chance would get hurt!  Colic, a huge gash above his eye, a hurt leg- you name it, he had it/did it/hurt it.

After much consideration, I decided that I should lease him out so that he would have more time under the saddle.  Next, we decided to try Dressage to build up his back muscles.  We worked with an awesome trainer, actually two, who were pretty well known in the Dressage world.  And, honestly, Chance was amazing at Dressage!  And what a difference it made! I began to actually enjoy riding him!  He was much calmer and easier to handle.

I left to goto college and a few weeks later Chance came to meet me.  My poor trainer trailered Chance the 4 hours and it took much longer than expected because of the directions! Chance’s behaviors were all over the place.  The only stable with availability was one the held a rodeo on the weekends.  It was great fun, but Chance was not a fan of the bulls.  We ended up moving to another facility where he was receiving training and I was receiving lessons.  That soon stopped because of the frequent encounters with lameness and back issues.

That summer I went home and decided to leave him at vet2’s stable where he would have 24 hour care and someone who knew him well. Plus, maybe a break would do him some good.  However, after that summer he was officially retired.

I moved him to another stable closer to school.  It was a perfect place- a three stall barn, with individual runs, and big green pastures. He soon fell in love with the mare there and was content.

Thankfully, after graduation, I was able to leave him at this farm while I completed my Masters degree and almost finish my Doctorate.  Without the care the farm’s owner extended to Chance (and the care extended to me as well), I have no idea what I would have done. The truth is though, I wasn’t able to make the drive as frequently as I would have liked with school and everything…4 hours there and 4 hours back in one day… I had always envisioned bringing Chance home upon graduation….

Chance lived there for almost 8 years.  He had flare ups of Lymphangitis and would stock up if left inside.  The symptoms were treated with each episode but the flare ups would continue and each episode would last a couples days and was manageable with medication. The mistake I made was instead of doing my own research about Lymphangitis, I took the vet’s word for it.  I was under the impression that Lymphangitis was more of a disease instead of a symptom.  If I had only done my homework I would have known that is was in fact the symptom of a much larger problem.

The day "Sunset Beach" became "Take A Chance"

The day “Sunset Beach” became “Take A Chance”